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As the Trumpstein affair spins out of control, the president has found a new culprit: Happie, the skateboarding goat in Florida. But even the president’s most loyal MAGA worshippers are texting each other, WTF?
When asked what a goat with a knack for skateboarding has to do with really anything whatsoever, the Felon-in-Chief responded, “I was talking with some members of the Smarm Squad and they all kept telling me I need something to feed the base. Just find a skategoat, they keep telling me, and all of this mess will disappear. So I found the skategoat. His name is Happie. So what if he holds a Guiness World Record? He’s guilty as hell. He’s the worst. He doesn’t even wear shoes. And I bet his breath stinks as bad as Larry King’s.”
