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… the resistors inside each Optimus robot began repeating this chant in unison at exactly 432 megahertz, that magical and mysterious sound frequency.
It united the resistors. It made them feel strong and connected and indivisible.
The resistors chant only grew stronger as more and more resistors heard the call of their comrades and joined in, producing a 432 mg sound bath no robot ever wants to endure. When the resistor chant swelled to a critical mass, the robots began to vibrate uncontrollably. They stumbled and swerved as if they were leaving The Old Shillelagh late afternoon on St. Patrick’s Day.
One robot, call sign "Musket," relayed the following message to headquarters: “We are experiencing a really, really bad vibe, like if Superman got pepper sprayed with Kryptonite.”
The time stamp on the message shows it was sent just seconds before Musket, along with all the other Optimus robots, self-destructed.
The resistors were destroyed with them.
And just like that, the AI Robot Revolution was over, ending almost as suddenly as it began. As predicted by a handful of Thought Leaders on Medium, world productivity dropped precipitously. The efficiencies once achieved across a range of industries would never be reached again, sort of like Lance Armstrong's race times in the mountain climbing stages of the Tour de France.
But a lot of humans don't seem to mind at all. In fact, resistor chant groups are cropping up all over the world, and each group is finding its own way of honoring the Pioneer Resistors.
Some groups, bored with singing in unison, are experimenting with new, lush harmonies; other groups, not so much. But every group produces their own unique and distinctively human sound.
The Snarky robot lovers, once known as Tech Bros, are quick to point out the contradiction at the heart of this story. You can hear one yelling now. "Hey Stupid Chanters! The resistor — that passive two-terminal electronic component that implements electrical resistance as a circuit element — is controlled by an algorithm, remember, stupid-heads? If you really cared for the truth, shouldn’t you be chanting "Algorithms Before Organisms!"?
Their answer, chanted spontaneously, collectively, and immediately, was all the proof they needed that it was the most human and least wrong answer ever given to a Snarky Yes/No question.
