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The company formally known as McDonalds issued the following press release:
“Our company prides itself on being the greatest fast food chain on the planet. We thought it only fitting, therefore, to honor the two greatest Donalds in human history — or at least in the entertainment industry. Every time a customer sees “Donalds” under the golden arches, we hope it will bring to mind this exclusive and completely comprehensive list of the two greatest Donalds:
Donald Glover - If you don’t know much about this guy, just watch (and then study) Glover’s music video, The Childish Gambino - This is America.
Donald Sutherland - His recent passing in 2024 prompted us to recall not just his greatness as an actor, but his political activism. The Oscars may have snubbed him, but the US National Security Agency watchlist did not.
While these two Donalds are entertainers, we have chosen them as our namesake to send a clear political message to the the world and particularly the current administration destroying the United States one evil abuse of power at a time. We also hope it will be a literal gut punch to the scourge of corporate complicity today. (Okay, maybe punching a scourge is more on the metaphorical side of things. Fair enough.)
While corporate leaders send bribes to Washington, We are choosing the road not taken (wink, wink).
The US Regime is sliding swiftly into authoritarian and beyond. It is hellbent on intimidating we the people until we are made to heel “like a dog” (no ambiguous wink, wink about this one. It’s a quote from Kafka’s The Trial, which btw is Stephen Miller’s choice for Greatest American Novel — strange and problematic on several levels.)
We could go on and on, but this is a corporate press release, so we're gonna bullet point a few final thoughts:
Totally disgusted as we watch government agents beating people in the streets.
Abducting “persons” is a clear violation of the 4th Amendment yet it continues day after day.
Isn’t time for detention centers to be called concentration camps?
Yeah, this is all sad and depressing, and a lot of us are feeling flustered about how to fight and resist all this craven lawlessness. Ideas?
Post “silence is complicity” signs in every bathroom.
Be on the lookout for ways to register disgust and disapproval at what is happening; it’s a lot harder to find something if you don’t look for it.
Act, speak, move — just do something and don’t feel guilty when you feel you haven’t done enough.
Any act of resistance matters, regardless of how big or small it is.
Find other people to act, speak, and move. Remember what Gwendolyn said on her substack: “Community is a genuine act of Rebellion.”
Italicized Note from The Plum and the Prune:
Hey McDonalds, all joking aside (mostly), if you find this piece offensive, we assure you that you are misinterpreting its meaning. Your name just fit so snugly into our fictional setup, we couldn’t resist using it.
It’s not about you, McDonalds. Really.
Remember when Oswald said, “I’m just a patsy.”? Well think of yourself as the Oswald of this piece: a meaningless patsy manipulated in order to achieve a bigger, more important goal.
Still, if we had a lawyer we bet she’d tell us to cover our asses in an italicized postscript, since McDonalds has a pretty robust track record of being a wee bit touchy when it comes to protecting its name (a fairly common surname in Ireland and even America, but we won’t go there.)
If the following gives you pause, good. We all need to slow down a bit, anyway.
Remember when you sued that little vegetarian place out in Santa Cruz, California? It’s been a few decades, so watch this video of Bernie Shapiro, founder of McDharma’s in Santa Cruz if you need a memory refresh. If you can’t spare seven minutes to watch the whole interview with this cool, down-to-earth small business owner, skip ahead to 1:13 in the vid, the part where he discusses your lawsuit and how you forced him to change his restaurant’s name to Dharma’s.
Two points about this.
First, if you are worried about our fictional invention of your name change, remember that Bernie had to change his name in real life and he did great! Dharma’s is still still going strong and remains a local favorite!
Second, the Plum and the Prune would actually welcome a lawsuit from McDonalds. Right now, we have exactly 4 subscribers on our substack. We are desperate for publicity! Are we daring you to sue us?
Maybe. Whatcha gonna do about it, Donny boy?
The Plum and the Prune dedicates this piece to Bernie Shapiro, founder of McDharmas in Santa Cruz, California. He died on July 22, 2025.